Couples therapy helps, but along the way there are typical obstacles that slow progress.

Family or couples therapy helps partners resolve conflicts, communicate more effectively and strengthen their emotional bond. But obstacles come up along the way — let's look at the most common ones.

1. Wanting the partner to change

Clients often want therapy to change the other's behaviour while staying unchanged themselves. But the goal of change is the relationship, so both need to change.

2. Denying one's own role

“You did this” is a stance that leads to a dead end. Effective work begins with acknowledging your own contribution to the problem.

3. Keeping secrets

Secrets (affairs, addictions) that affect the relationship are better disclosed and worked through — otherwise real change is impossible.

4. Lack of patience

Applying agreements during a conflict is hard. “Code” phrases help — “stop”, “pause” — and returning to the conversation once both have calmed down.

5. Distrust of the process

There is no quick change. Finding the root of a conflict takes time and a readiness to express feelings, not just thoughts.

6. Waiting too long

Couples often come as a “last stop before divorce”. The sooner you seek help, while both are still willing to fight for the relationship, the better.