3 psychological problems rooted in childhood

Who we become as adults is largely shaped by our relationships with the closest people — our parents. A mother's and father's instructive behaviour seems like ordinary parenting to them, but individual remarks can wound and leave a mark that later affects an adult's life.

Common consequences of unhealthy upbringing

1. Low self-esteem

“Don't be a smart aleck!”, “Stop daydreaming!”, “Other people's children are fine…”. The wording varies, but the message is the same: as if you're not good enough. Grown up, such a person rarely has their own opinion, lacks initiative and constantly compares themselves to others.

2. Seeking a partner with a parental role

When a child isn't allowed to be even a little independent, to make mistakes and learn the hard way, they risk never growing up. In time such a person looks for a companion who would be a “parent” to them and solve every difficulty.

3. Destructive addictions and risky pursuits

This is often the result of parents' stories about how hard life was after the baby was born. The child literally identifies with the problem: “If I weren't here, it would be easier for my parents.” In adulthood this can turn into bad habits and extreme pursuits.

If you recognise these patterns in your own life, it's not a verdict. In therapy they can be seen, worked through, and new ways of being with yourself can be chosen.