Gaslighting and how to protect yourself

The term owes its origin to the mid-20th-century play “Gas Light”, where the heroine's sanity was denied through psychological manipulation.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which a person is made to doubt their own perception of reality. Perhaps you've had an argument where you said you were mocked or offended, and the other person denied it all and called your feelings imaginary.

How to recognise gaslighting

• Denial of what happened: “It wasn't like that at all”, “Don't make things up”, “I never said that”.
• Dismissing your emotions: “It's not as terrible as you're describing”.
• Devaluing achievements: strips you of confidence in your own worth.
• Declaring you “unstable”: the abuser insists your behaviour has changed, provoking helplessness.

How to protect yourself

Where possible, minimise contact with such a person. If someone deliberately hurts you with words, don't be afraid to say so directly and ask them to stop. Lead the conversation, putting your own position first, and be confident that you're right.